If you listen to my podcast, you’ve probably heard that I am going to a new school this year, and in my area, students are back on campus today.
I have been lucky enough in my 10 or so years teaching to have some wonderful students. My last group of students at the high school I was at, students I have written and tweeted about before, are the best group of young people I have ever had the pleasure and honor to teach. They have gone so far above and beyond what is required, even by a service based class like Student Tech Support, or as the lovingly call it Shreff Tech. These students have even come to help me distribute laptops to the middle school I’m at now, taking some of their last days before heading off to college to help me even more. They’re great.
What I have been struck by over this time though is that they don’t really understand their place in my heart (and yes, I am aware of how cheesey that line is).
I care for these students so much. I have spent every school day for the last 4 years with them, watching them grow from awkward 14 year olds, fresh faced and in a new school, into young adults, ready to make their way into the world. It makes me so sad to realize they won’t walk into my class today, and yet tremendously proud they graduated and are moving on.
I love these kids like I love my own son, with the same pride and respect, awe and excitement.
And while I have spent those 4 years showing them through action and word how I feel about them, I don’t think they can actually understand it. Few if any will become teachers, but I suspect that is the only way they could connect to this feeling. Even then, I struggle to imagine any of my teachers felt this way about me. I suppose some did, but it doesn’t fit with my memory of school and my teachers.
Teaching is an odd job for a lot of reasons, but this might well be the top. We spend a year, or years, building relationships with our students, raising them up and supporting them, pushing them towards adulthood, only to let them go, and in most cases, never see or hear from them again. Even if you’re that teacher that kids remember, without the bounds of a scheduled course, that relationship typically evaporates in the time it takes to cross a stage and grab a diploma.
There is nothing to be done about it, nothing to scream against of fight. We just have to accept that students will never understand their place in our hearts.